Are you a woman?

One of the youth members asked Christina and I this question as we waited for the Women's Revival to begin on Friday afternoon. 

I was slightly offended and just shot him a "Are you really asking me this question" type glance. 

The evening continued with a lively sermon from the conference superintendent about the qualities of queen Esther that all women should aspire to embody: courage, knowledge, sacrificial love and being prayerful. 

The president of the Methodist women's organization in Zimbabwe then listed what a Methodist woman ought to do and Be. She follows Christ, wants to learn, and lives life with 5 items: bible, hymn book, constitution for Methodist women, and a notebook and pen. 

During this workshop the pastor nodded to me several times saying, "That's a good wife!" 

I just nodded. 

The president continued speaking. She explained that a Methodist Woman is jealous of her home: she doesn't leave her kids playing in the streets or leave her husband for long periods of time, she cooks good meals, doesn't brew beer, draws hot water for her husbands bath, doesn't quarrel, etc. etc. 

The pastor leaned over and said, "That's an African wife!" 

I just laughed. 

I have observed many things about womanhood and coming of age in Malawi. Perhaps because I am 25, an "acceptable age for marriage," I am highly aware of what women do and what they are expected to do. 

Since arriving I have cooked dinner on a charcoal burning stove, rubbed my knuckles  raw while washing clothes in the bathroom tub and danced into the night surrounded by women desperately seeking a revelation from God. 

The pastor's wife gave me an unsolicited definition of womanhood at the beginning of my stay. Her words replay in my mind often as I consider all these things. 

"We carry babies on our backs. Firewood on our heads. We are no strangers to hard work." 

I am not a mother. I am not married. I am not 35.

And in Malawi I am not yet a woman.